Last week I substitute taught for two days at the local high school. It was my first time subbing for the big kids. Here is what I learned…

 

  • The sub is public enemy #1. Even though I think I am kinda cool and can relate to high schoolers, they do not concur. While I don’t necessarily need to be your buddy, I am not here to torture you or receive torture from you. Can’t we just agree on that? #nottheenemy

 

  • Nothing is funny enough to laugh hysterically for an entire 102 minutes straight. Nope, nothing. That, along with your glazed eyes gave you away. #ontoyou

 

  • High schoolers haven’t evolved very much since I was one one of you. The same old smirks and inside jokes when the sub looks your way existed when I was your age. #nicetry

 

  • Hey, you over there endlessly scrolling, when you said you were using it for homework. No it isn’t “quizlet”. Don’t lie to me. Controlling smart phones in high school is a sub’s worst nightmare. #iwasntbornyesterday

 

  • Ha! The office played a funny joke on me by giving me only three “Device Infraction” forms. A stack of 150 would be more realistic. But, thanks! #icouldhavesenteverystudenttotheoffice

 

  • Girls you are not hookers, so stop dressing like you are. When did high school dress code standards get thrown out the window? #omg #coverituphoney

 

  • Surfer who came to school without shoes. You’re pretty cool. I like you’re style. #coolbutdefinitelynotallowed

 

  • “Lit” doesn’t mean what it meant when I was in school. #oh #ok

 

  • Block schedule sucks. And from what I gathered, teachers and students agree that 102 minutes per class is WAY too stinkin’ long. #marathon

 

  • Seniors are far more mature than sophomores. Seniors, you have restored my hope in teenagers. You too can become mature adults. I see it. You’re almost there. #lightattheendofthetunnel

 

  • Teachers need to leave more than enough classwork in their absence. There is nothing worse than running out of work 20 minutes into a 102 minute period. #moreworkplease #duetoday

 

  • I will be back. You didn’t succeed in scaring me off. Yet. That does not mean you should keep trying. #untilnexttime #gameon